3AM Thoughts And Notes

I should've listened to Sir when he said "you can't save me from myself" coz honestly all this time I've been with you that's what I've been trying to do Save you from you I tried to keep you safe, not just for me but for everyone who ever had the pleasure of knowing you I tried to keep you out of harms way but it seems to be the only way that you prefer I tried to love you enough for the both of us I tried to use my love to keep your demons away I tried to care for you into finding your healing I tried to be your peace, your home, your love, your happy place, your free space But like the song says, I can't save you from you... I loved you past your pain, past your flaws and past your shame I loved you through every thorn That came from you to me I loved you when I felt nothing but pain from you I loved you despite every chain That kept you from doing the same I loved the lies you told me I loved care you lacked towards me I loved your everyday absence...

 I know that I need to get this out and the only I know how is to write it all down To speak my feelings into being So that I can later murder them when I finally feel free But today I lack the words to describe what it is that I'm feeling Coz if I say it, if I speak it into existence I'm finally admitting to letting you go Maybe this is why I've never written or uttered a single word of you Coz maybe I've never really wanted to see you go But now I don't think it's right that I hold onto what I believe we've had all these years Coz I think that what I've believed to be true love is only my fear of it being nothing at all I've loved you, or at least felt drawn to you from the moment the I met you I was like a moth to a flame Flying too close to your sun Blinded by its brilliance, attracted by its warmth, drawn to its light From that moment on, I wanted to be in your space, breathe your air, feel your touch, and hear your voice I wanted your very esse...