Fear (15/03/2020)

I’m scared of big gardens and friendly neighbors because despite knowing how broken my childhood home was, no one came to save me

 I’m scared of books and libraries because they allowed me to build a world where we were all happy

 I’m scared of pianos and safe spaces because they drowned out all my desperate cries and screams for help... Even to myself

 I’m scared of achievements, goals and good grades because they hid away everything that is contrary  to a happy and healthy mind

 I’m scared of my future love because he is capable of lying through his teeth and saying he loves me no matter how much he hates me, of saying he’d never hurt me intentionally, of saying he only did it because I was too happy or because I looked too pretty

 I’m scared of bottles of alcohol because even though I’ve seen them broken on heads they still allude to me being content and free

 I’m scared of kids because I’d die if they were to carry the burdens that were meant for me

 I’m scared of the fairytales I read as a child because even today, I’m yet to see one come true

I’m scared... I, am scared.

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